October 2011 - Karle Masti

10 Signs You Are Ready to Get Engaged

1. You both are openly talking about your future together. Dreaming about your future is different from talking about how things will work in your life together. Talking about getting married is exciting, so is planning out how your lives will merge. Be sure to get clear about things like how you will handle the holidays, children, finances, merging your two homes, dealing with family and in-laws, etc. Getting engaged should be a mutual decision and choice to be discussed and planned jointly.

2. You feel completely comfortable with your partner. Talking and sharing about everything openly without concern in your relationship is very important. Complete honesty without secrets is a must in a marriage. You must be able to share your deepest feelings, triggers, hang ups, faults, mistakes while feeling supported and loved without feeling guilt, shame, or neglect.

3. You feel completely safe in this relationship. Being accepted and loved no matter what is a key to success in a marriage. Not feeling threatened in any way and knowing you are taken care of by your partner contributes to feeling safe.

4. You know that you and your relationship is a priority to and for each other. Making each other and your relationship a priority takes effort and commitment. Lives get very busy with careers and children, so go ahead, schedule your date night for every week starting now making romance and intimacy a part of your weekly routine.

5. There is no pressure or pushing for a future - it just happens organically and naturally. If you find yourself pushing for an engagement ring or commitment for marriage, be sure fear of losing your partner or some other external need or influence is not driving it. Allowing your relationship to develop organically while exploring the idea of marriage will bring your engagement date closer to you. Pressing for a date or ring will create delay and unnecessary pressure on your relationship.

6. You do not worry or experience any anxiety about your relationship. Worrying about what your partner is or is not doing is an unhealthy activity. If this is a pattern in your relationship, maybe it is time to reconsider whether or not this is a healthy relationship for you or not.

7. No game playing or manipulation or control - you both are free with each other to be who you are. Using manipulative language, lying, or involving others to get your partner to do or say something is very unhealthy. Instead learn how to ask for what you need and want, allow the space for finding a mutually acceptable solution, and stand in the space of authenticity.

8. You don't spend time convincing yourself, your friends, or family that this is the relationship for you. There is no need to convince your friends and family that your partner is the 'Bomb' as they will see that for themselves. If you are in an unhealthy relationship, your friends and family will let you know. Pay attention to what they say instead of defending your relationship. Friends and family love to interfere in relationship drama but you should still consider their opinions in your assessment of your relationship simply because they do care for your welfare and well-being.

9. You don't defend each other or your relationship with friends or family. The reason you find yourself defending your partner is because you've been complaining about them behind their back. Find someone else, a professional Relationship Coach perhaps, to share your thoughts and concerns. This gives you an objective outside resource that will not interfere in your relationships with friends, family or your partner.

10. You truly accept and love each other for who you. Accepting each other's differences and for who you both are is the sweet spot of love. Maintain individuality while joining each other in the relationship for a sustainable relationship.

Instead of wondering if s/he will ever propose causing unnecessary anxiety, impatience, and potential conflict in your relationship, why not just be sure. Have clarity, certainty and peace in knowing about your future with the one you love.

Now your partner's gone and you are alone, what do you intend to do, don't you worry. Here's how to deal with all the pain that you're feeling right now. One of the best ways that will help you to heal from your break-up or divorce is just simply knowing how to deal with your negative thoughts and how to control emotions that keep on coming up to your head over and over again.

Get it right, I am not talking about controlling your thoughts here, but am simply talking about the knowledge or thoughts and the emotion and then consciously changing them.

Hold on, I hear you say impossible, well I say it is possible. Look at this scenario if you have a toddler in your neighborhood, you might remember diverting the toddlers attention whenever he/ she was about to do something that might cause injury or pain. You might have recalled diverting the toddler's attention with toy or something else he/she might enjoy. Or imagine it being done by another person if you do not have toddler around your neighborhood.

The main aim is to re-focus the toddler's attention towards something that was more desirable than the "danger" activity that she/he was focused on.

Can you imagine how it works like magic, the same is true for you when you are feeling like a victim or martyr and its keeping you stuck in the past or you are deeply into blaming yourself or your ex for what happened and the blame is holding back from the life you want. Have you discounted your feelings, okay, you can just in 2 minuets choose which one you will focus and which one you aren't so that you start to feel better and move towards your healing.

Without keeping you in suspense, let me reveal the techniques, after all am here to make you feel better and not worst. Hey use this techniques when those negative thoughts and feelings keeps on ringing on your head like school bell, I know you've waited long for these to expose this powerful secrets. But get this in your head negative thought and feelings can become a habit but they can also be changed.

Sit

Sit quietly especially in a quiet place, for example your bathroom.

Settle down

It is time to relax, close your eyes, take a deep breath, try as much as possible to breath into your feet so that you feel grounded and connected to the earth. Ensure you feel yourself slowing down and your breathing deepen, let say for 15 seconds

Awareness

Put your brain to work, ask yourself why you are having a negative thought? What exactly are you thinking? for example am I a loser when it comes to relationship.

Ask

Then ask yourself if you know the answer to your question, that is are you negative thoughts true. Can you find evidence to the contrary? Chances are you can find somewhere in your life where your thoughts cannot be substantiated.

Allow

Okay, quickly bring your attention to your heart or gut area and feel the sensations in your body. (what exactly are you feeling in your body right now? Is there tightness, a big knot, emptiness, heaviness? ) allow your sensations to be there without judging them and breath into the area, breath into that heaviness until the sensations softens. If you felt a knot in your area, breath into that knot until it starts to loosen.

Replace

Finally replace the limiting, self-defeating "drama" running in your head to one that is more in alignment with what you want in your life, because the reality is that both the outcomes are possible. Run this new drama whenever you feel your negative and in pain, replace that "drama" with one the could happen that you'd like much better. See yourself taking your next step in more empowered ways instead of the damaging cycle you find yourself.

Never forget to practice this as many times a day that you need. Keep a copy of it in your phone, in case you are tempted to call your ex. Put copy in your car to remind you to stop yourself before your done by his or her new living situations.

Are courting and dating skills important to a girl? What are some important courting and dating tips and skills to know? Will your skills with courting and dating be enough to impress a girl? Can you learn these skills?

Although some may believe that courting is something of the past that is not the case. In fact, your courting and dating skills will one of the first things that your girl notices about you when on your first date. In order to have a successful relationship, it is important to keep in mind these courting and dating tips which will help win her over.

Do Try Your Best

This means that you should look your best and try your best to be on time when picking her up. Not everyone has a clock in their head, so be sure to get ready early so you will there when you said you would be to take her out.

Be Complimentary

Girls always like to hear a nice compliment and they will appreciate hearing how nice they look when you are dating and even after. People put in some effort when dating and really like to know that all of their trouble paid off and you like the way they look.

Be Interesting

Girls like a guy who has another life. They enjoy it when a guy has other friends and interests outside of a relationship. While it is important to spend time together, it is also important to have interests and friends for him to call his own and to hang out with from time to time. If you are interesting, more girls are going to fall for you.

Date Who You Like

Only you know the type of girl which you are attracted to. This means that you should date this person and don't always to your friends who may not know exactly what you want. Keep in mind that you don't have to please them, only yourself.

Don't Be Needy

Even if you are head over heals in love with someone, don't call them too much. This will only make you seem needy and creepy, both of which are huge turnoffs to girls.

Don't Lie

While it might be tempting to tell someone how you won a marathon in record time, never tell a lie to the girl whom you are dating. Not only will it be hard to keep the lies straight, but you should never be anyone who you are not. If you are yourself, the girl will like you so much more than anything you could pretend to be.

Don't be Rude or Drunk

Never treat the wait staff or anyone else badly and do not have too much to drink. There is nothing worse than starting to slur your words or waking up the next morning and not remembering if you had a good time on the date or not. Stick to one or two glasses of wine and mind your manners at all times.

You feel as though you still really love your ex girlfriend. There's no question about it, you really do. There's some trouble brewing with that, because you have found out that she has moved on and she is dating someone else. When a guy gets news like this, it can be detrimental to his entire well being. You probably have so many questions, so few answers, and you feel like you don't know which way to go. You don't know if you should ignore the fact that you still love your ex girlfriend or if you should find a way to get her back.

You can't really ask your friends right now, because they aren't so successful in relationships themselves. And they just give you the typical cliches about break ups and you want something more than just a cliche. And you can't really ask any family members, because they just don't have the answers right now. What should you do if you still love your ex girlfriend, yet you know that she is dating someone else?

Move On But Don't Forget Her...

As hard as it might be to take in, no matter what you have to try and move on. You have to stop thinking about her as being the only possible woman in the world that you could actually fall in love with. Love is funny. It seems so rare, yet at the same time, you can see that it's not. So, just because you are aching for your ex girlfriend right now, it does not mean that you won't feel that way about another woman in a month or a few months from now.

At the same time, don't forget about your ex girlfriend. Most people's relationships come and go, especially if it is just someone that she is seeing casually. You can't really consider her to be totally out of your reach until she is in a committed long term relationship. Even then, we all know how many of those wind up coming to an end. So, keep in mind that she might just be an option for you down the road.

Find Yourself a New Girlfriend...

Go ahead and find yourself a new girlfriend for now. She does not have to be the love of your life, just a little something to get you over the last one and have some fun doing it. You might actually catch feelings for the next one, but if not, oh well. At least you will be past that hump of trying to get over the one you can't get out of your mind right now.

What Should You Do When Your Partner Cries

Not all of us can control our emotions each time a crisis occurs. If you are the kind who never sheds a tear and can keep your emotions in check, then your partner is a lucky person. In case your partner is the opposite of you; weeping at the slightest rude remark of yours, or sobbing because her best friend bitched about her or sulking because your father told she doesn't cook well, then you are absolutely in a fix.

Females cry a lot but this doesn't mean men don't cry. It's just that we have more females crying compared to males. Nevertheless, if you are stuck with a partner who doesn't think twice before turning on the tear reservoir and if the pressure gets on you, it can be really frustrating.

Below are some tips on what you can do when your partner cries:

1. When your partner cries, do not ignore him or her because people cry in front of others only when they need attention. Females generally prefer someone listening to them when they cry while males tend to stay away and heal after a while.

2. Be a listener. In a relationship, until you learn to be a quiet listener, your learning isn't enough. Stay quiet until your partner has cried out. More often than not, all she wants you to is to listen to her.

3. Do not tell your partner if she is right or wrong when she in a deep trauma. Even if she is not right, listen to her whining and complaining about how wrong the other person was. She might know that she is wrong but right now she doesn't need to hear that.

4. Lend your shoulder. Don't be a hard rock while you sit beside her. Allow her to feel you because girls like it when someone comforts them through touch. Men might have to be left alone.

5. Do not give advice unless asked for. Partners usually do not like their partners giving them advices when they are in distress. Also, do not say sentences like "I told you so..."

6. Some people have the tendency to cry for the smallest thing even if it's not important. In such cases, explain the person patiently about how they can solve the issue without crying.

Now you are all set to be the great lover who can handle a cry baby and not let stress get over your relationship. Good luck!

Signs a Man Is Not Ready For a Relationship

There are many men out there who are faithful to one woman yet never commit to her. They may date only her, but never step it up to the next level. This is all fine and well for a while, but if the woman wants more, such as marriage, she may be barking up the wrong tree. The sad thing is often the woman gets in too deep. She is treated well and doesn't see it coming. When it hits her, she is already in love.

There are flags and signs that this man isn't ready for a relationship or won't commit to a relationship. One sign is how deeply involved in his life are you? If you have been dating a while and he has slotted time for you every week, although you are in his life it may not be that deeply. A man can take you out every Saturday night, call you every single day, share his day with you verbally and still not be ready for a relationship. These are surface things that are easy to do.

If he on the other hand takes you to Sunday dinner at his moms, or involves you with his family, and you do day to day activities together such as grocery shop, you are more involved. The man not ready for a relationship will give you just enough to keep you around.

Another sign a man is not ready for a relationship is if something hits the fan, he isn't really there for you. Say your mom is in the hospital. A man not ready for a relationship is not going to insist on visiting her. A man who is ready will. It may even be his idea. He cares very much about your well being. He isn't well if you aren't well. A man not ready will usually put himself first when it comes right down to it.

If he is not ready for a relationship, you may hear excuses why he can't do certain things that you want to do. He may not want to go to a party your friend is having. You may hear him making excuses why he can't just come over and watch tv with you or why he can't stay the night. He has to get up early. A man in love will lose sleep to be with you. Eventually you stop expecting him to do these things. Sometimes the man will even make you feel something is wrong with you for wanting such things. It's not, nothing is wrong with you. You are ready for a relationship and he is not.

Many women have boyfriends, but that does not translate to a a real commitment in all cases. If you feel resistance from your boyfriend in any area, he may not be seeing you as his dream girl and he may not be as committed to your relationship as you think or hope.

Why Do Married Women Cheat on Their Husbands?

Married men and women resort to infidelity in equal numbers. It really makes sense when you think about it. For an affair to happen you need two. What's more, married women are cheating on their husbands for exactly the same reasons as their spouses.

Why Do Married Women Cheat on Their Husbands In Plain Words

Married women are not different from men. They need a friend and adventure partner. Married woman is often seen as dedicated mother. Most people think that women shouldn't do anything outside of the family. When they show that they need more than responsibilities, many frown upon them. This pressure and often unfair expectation is a common reason for infidelity with women. They are not doing it to show it to others, but to prove to themselves that they are more than what people expect them to be.

Thrill and adventure for married woman comes in same forms as for a man. She needs to meet new people from time to time. She needs secrets and little naughty moments with her friends. If these are not there for her, she will likely wander off to find it elsewhere.

Unfortunately, the judgement for women found in infidelity is often harsh and given away easily. People focus on the fact that she was unfaithful, but very few ask why. Women are cheating on their husbands when their needs are not met. They have a very fine sense for lack of interest and need constant attention. When she is neglected, a modern woman seeks a man that will meet her needs.

Long gone are the times when women used to be servants in the house. If treated like one, she is likely to find someone to comfort her. Abusive husbands very often push their spouses to cheat on them.

The lack of intimacy is often heard between men, but we also talk about it often. And we need it as much as men do. Not only for the physical side of it, but as a proof of attraction and deep interest from men. Every woman will work on it to some extent, but if her man doesn't show interest, she will find someone who will.

There are women who need strong character on their side. Many men soften when they spend some time with one woman. This is very disappointing for many women. They will look for someone who has charisma and confidence when they are around them.

Finally, some women are looking for financial security for themselves and their children. If a man fails to provide, they will look for someone who is more stable. This is a very basic survival instinct and common in some cultures.

How To Be In A Happy Relationship - 4 Quick Tips You Can Use Today

If you have doubts about your relationship, or if it is already circling the drain, think about these 4 "secrets". They will help you to find and maintain a happy relationship. Then put them into action in your own situation. You might suddenly start looking at your relationship in a whole new way.

1. Be Glad for What You Have Part 1

How to be in a happy relationship, you wonder? Maybe you already are, but you just don't know it. Sit yourself down and make a list of every single thing, large and small, that your spouse does for you every day, without talking about it. And without complaining or expecting thanks.

Include even tiny things like putting the toothpaste cap back on, as well as looking after the kids while you watch The Simpsons. Or filling up your car's gas tank, or taking out the garbage. You may suddenly realize, Hey, my spouse is really great!

2. Problems? Do This...

Problems and rough spots? Well, duhhh... every relationship has 'em. No surprise there. So be the first to make the effort to talk about them, and reconnect with your spouse. Break through the person barrier we all put up around ourselves. Be friendly. Say Hi, how did your day go?

Your spouse is supposed to be your best friend, so share your life and your world with him or her. Do things together. This makes for a more casual, easy-going atmosphere, where there is less pressure on the two of you to be perfect. Where it is easier to open up and talk things over.

3. Keep Living Your Own Dreams

Keep up your own outside interests and passions. Stay up to date in your career or favorite hobby. Do not depend totally on your spouse for your happiness and personal development. That is your responsibility. Get out more, meet people and try new things. This will make you a better, more alert and appealing person to those around you, especially your spouse.

It will also help keep the spark alive in your relationship. In a word, it prevents you from falling into a rut, and getting stuck there. Nothing in this world ever stays the same. The best relationships change and grow with time. That's what makes them so exciting and thrilling. If all you want is a stable friendship, get a horse!

4. Be Glad for What You Have Part 2

Be satisfied with what you have, not with what you don't have. That may sound weird. It means, you will not find contentment if you long for things you do not have. Few of us have an unlimited supply of cash. So there is always stuff we lust for but do not or cannot have. Now here is the big point: THINGS will not and cannot bring you long-term joy and happiness.

Only two people can do that. To find them, do this. First, look in a mirror. Second, really look at that person sitting across the dinner table from you. Congratulations! You found them. Now, answer me this. Are you getting your three square meals a day? Do you have a roof over your head? Yes? Then you should be thankful for what you have, while trying to better yourself, of course.